So you wake up, and don’t know where your shoes went. Your phone is either missing or buzzing like crazy. There’s an extra $5 in your wallet that you don’t recall having…score. OR, maybe you have a perfectly clear understanding of the entire previous night.
Regardless of how or where you woke up, you feel like absolute crap.
Hello, it’s me, the annoying friend that somehow always gets invited—Hangover.
I grew up and went to college in Miami. CO CAINE! I mean, GO CANES! So, yeah, I learned how to make it to an 8 AM class without anyone knowing that just 3 hours earlier, I was taking shots to Nas. After eating greasy food until my face was too, I learned that bacon and hash browns will only take you so far. I started listening to what my body needed and wanted (after doing the exact opposite the night before) and lo and behold, I found some tried and true hangover cures.
I couldn’t tell you exactly how I found these saving graces, but I can say I’ve never turned back since!
HANGOVER CURE #1 – CHOCOLATE MILK
That’s right, stock up kiddos, this stuff is going to change your life. Whole milk or nut milk only. Don’t do skim, 2%, and don’t you dare try and make it yourself. Did drunk you teach sober you nothing? Outsource, outsource, outsource.
HERE’S WHY: First of all, your body is effing depleted. You need to give it a boost. The chocolatey milk will help raise your blood sugar and rehydrate you, all while settling your very uneasy stomach. The whole milk also contains Vitamin D, a vitamin that alcohol seriously exhausts. People aren’t grumpy when hungover because they wish they were still partying. No, people are grumpy when hungover because they are low in Vitamin D! This sunny vitamin is responsible for happy, healthy serotonin levels.
Pro tip: Get outdoors, and soak up the sun.
HANGOVER CURE #2 – MATCHA GREEN TEA
Don’t roll your eyes just yet. I’m not saying matcha cures everything, but it can help cure your headache and exhaustion.
HERE’S WHY: Matcha is like the overachiever of teas. Not only will the caffeine help alleviate your headache and give you a boost of energy, but just as I enjoy the chocolate milk to help re-boost serotonin levels, matcha can help do just that, too! Matcha contains the ever-powerful amino acid, L-theanine. L-theanine does amazing things to the body. Read my #whatsitforseries blog about matcha, here. What L-theanine can help with is GABA production. This helps to reduce stress, and also generates alpha waves, which help to induce a calm, relaxed state. Each of these processes work together to raise dopamine and serotonin levels in the body. Matcha will also help boost hydration, which you know hungover you is in need of.
Pro tip: Add coconut water to your matcha for added hydration!
HANGOVER CURE #3 – A COLD SHOWER
It’s the last thing you want to do, but I promise you’ll be glad you did it.
HERE’S WHY: Honestly, I don’t know! I just know that pre-cold shower, I’m miserable. Post-cold shower, I’m less miserable. I didn’t make this one up, either, I have plenty of friends who swear by this ritual too. Grab your chocolate milk or matcha and bring it in the shower with you, blast some tunes, and start to feel better.
Pro tip: Use peppermint or mint scented body wash to help soothe your pounding headache.
HANGOVER CURE #4 – PICKLES or PICKLE JUICE
If you’re someone who hates pickles, it can be pickled anything (onions, carrots, jalapeños, whatever!)
HERE’S WHY: The salty, delicious juice that pickles sit in is chock-full of electrolytes. Your body desperately needs electrolytes after a night of heavy drinking. The salt and vinegar in the pickle juice will also help your body to retain water. This will expedite the rehydration process.
Pro tip: Shoot a shot of the brine before going to bed.
FINAL HANGOVER CURE THOUGHTS
To state the obvious, CHUG WATER. All these tips and tricks are great, but rehydrating with good ol’ water will do the most for your body. Also, be the best friend that drunk you needs. Before going out, set a large glass of water beside your bed with a note that reads DRINK ME. Maybe even go the extra mile and set make-up wipes on your pillow that reads IT WILL ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS.
After waking up and chugging all the things and showering in the cold, if all you still want and believe will cure you are Chik-fil-A fries, then just freaking do it. Chug a huge glass of water and drive yourself toward the cow-patterned haven, and just hope it’s not a Sunday!